What is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)?

PDA is a condition on the autism spectrum, but it stands out because people with PDA have an overwhelming need to avoid demands — any demand. This could be something as simple as a request to clean up or follow a routine, and the need to avoid it is often linked to anxiety and the fear of being controlled.

What Does PDA Look Like?

• Avoiding Demands at All Costs: Someone with PDA might resist even small requests, and this can turn into behaviors that seem defiant or oppositional. But it’s not about being stubborn — it’s about trying to protect themselves from overwhelming anxiety triggered by the demand.
• Socially Engaged but with a Twist: Many people with PDA are socially engaged and can be charming or appear outgoing. However, their social interactions often revolve around avoiding demands, and they may use their social skills to manipulate situations to stay in control.
• High Anxiety: The avoidance is driven by high levels of anxiety. Just thinking about being asked to do something can cause stress and panic, leading to the need to escape or avoid the situation entirely.
• Need for Control: People with PDA often feel an intense need to control their environment. This can be because they fear losing their autonomy and being forced into situations where they don't feel in control.

How to Approach PDA

If you're wondering how to handle PDA, the key is to be flexible and understanding. Traditional methods like strict rules or commands don't tend to work and can escalate the situation. Here are some strategies that can help:

• Offer Choices: Instead of making demands, try offering choices. Giving someone with PDA a sense of control can reduce resistance and anxiety.
• Keep Routines Flexible: Having some structure is important, but too rigid a routine can increase anxiety. Try to build flexibility into daily activities to make things feel less overwhelming.
• Be Patient and Calm: The more calm and patient you are, the better. People with PDA often need reassurance, so being calm and supportive can help prevent the situation from escalating.

At Blue Jay ABA, we understand that every person with autism, including those with PDA, has their own set of challenges. Whether you're looking for home-based ABA therapy, school-based therapy, or telehealth services, we’re here to help. 

We also offer autism evaluations, ABA assessments, and ABA parent training to give families the support they need. 

If you’re in North Carolina or Colorado, we’d love to connect and see how we can support your journey.

FAQs

Sources:



• https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/demand-avoidance
• https://childmind.org/article/pathological-demand-avoidance-in-kids/
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-health-reimagined/202509/rethinking-pathological-demand-avoidance
• https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/what-is-pda/
• https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4820467/